The One That Got Away


Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal

In your life, you’ll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There’s the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you’re with… and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it’s that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn’t fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little nice ties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you’re not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn’t matter who you’re with, it just doesn’t work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you’re not ready and it shows. It’s not that you and the person you’re with are no good; it’s just that it’s not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact. Then one day you’re ready. You really are. And when this happens you’ll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it’ll work because you’re ready. It’ll work because it’s the right time and you’ll make it work. And it’ll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you’re finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you’ve become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there’s no telling when this day will come.

Hopefully you’re single, but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn’t matter. All you know is that you’ve changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You’ll think about them because you’ll wonder, “What if they were here today?” You’ll wonder, “What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?”

That’s what the one that got away is, the biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life. If you’re married, you’ll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you’re mature enough to realize that you’re already with the one you’re with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you’ll think about him/her every so often, but it’s alright. It’s never nice to live with a “might have been,” but it happens. Maybe the one that got away is the one who’s already married. In which case it’s the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it’s different.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

***

Gw pertama kali membaca tulisan ini di sebuah blog, selagi tanpa sengaja berjalan-jalan tanpa tujuan menjelajahi link-link blog, a.k.a blogwalking. Udah lama banget, mungkin sekitar 2 tahun yang lalu. Waktu itu, gw belum punya blog, dan kebetulan membaca tulisan ini membuat gw teringat akan seseorang. Akhirnya, tulisan ini tersimpan rapi di laptop gw, sebagai salah satu dari kilasan kenangan perasaan gw waktu itu *gw liat date modified-nya, 30 Januari 2008 ^^;*.

Sekarang, setelah punya blog, gw memutuskan untuk memposting tulisan ini, dengan tujuan untuk dokumentasi sekaligus menyebarkan ke orang-orang yang belum pernah membaca tulisan ini. Because this is such a great writing, and it would be a waste if people don’t read it.

That’s what the one that got away is, the biggest “What if?” you’ll have in your life.

Memang ga enak banget rasanya, hidup dengan pertanyaan “Gimana jadinya ya? Kalau misalnya waktu itu gw…”. But that’s life, full of choice. Sekali kita sudah memilih satu ‘jalan’, terkadang kita bertanya-tanya, bagaimana kalau misalnya kita memilih ‘jalan’ yang satu lagi. Akankah berujung buntu? Atau berakhir pada tempat yang lebih baik dari jalan yang telah kita pilih? ^^; Tapi, lain halnya dengan memilih jalan biasa, kita bisa memutuskan untuk putar balik lalu memilih jalan yang satunya lagi, dalam kehidupan ga ada istilah ‘putar balik’.

So, the best thing we can do is move forward, and just live our life, with smile. Mungkin ada saat-saat dimana kita menoleh ke belakang, lalu kembali terucap “What if?”. That’s okay, but don’t try to answer it, or ask others for answer, because no one could. Just forget it and keep moving forward.

You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you’re old and gray and reminiscing.

Box. Of memories. In my opinion, every one must have at least one. Kecuali jika memori tersebut dianggap terlalu menyakitkan untuk disimpan, dan akhirnya yang bersangkutan memutuskan untuk membuang ‘kotak’nya ke tempat sampah. Gw? Gw punya banyak ;p Dan tidak ada satupun yang gw buang, karena gw anggap semuanya berharga. Walaupun beberapa ‘kotak’ jika dibuka masih akan menyebabkan perasaan sedih, kehilangan. Tapi gw yakin, manusia juga butuh perasaan-perasaan negatif, sebagai penyeimbang perasaan-perasaan positif.

Dalam satu waktu, gw punya satu ‘kotak’ yang gw anggap spesial, yang masih terbuka dan siap untuk diisi. I don’t think I can handle more than one box at a time, since I’m not really good at multitasking. Ketika gw menganggap satu kotak sebagai ‘the box’, the other will be just a box. Some of them have been sealed, but some of them maybe haven’t. Closed, yes, but not yet sealed, coz there are times when I still wanna peek inside them, when I miss ‘those times’.

Mungkin di suatu saat, ketika gw sudah beruban dan punya cucu, di saat lagi beres-beres gw teringat bahwa gw punya kotak-kotak itu. Tapi gw lupa, apa isi di dalam setiap kotak. Jadi gw memutuskan untuk membukanya satu per satu. Gw yakin, isi setiap kotak akan membuat gw tersenyum.

If the timing is finally right, it’ll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I’m thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, “Hey you, you’re the one that almost got away.”

Ya, “kalau memang jodoh ga akan kemana”, begitu kata orang-orang bijak. Tapi jangan sampai, kita terlalu terpaku pada ‘the one that got away’ versi kita, berharap bahwa suatu saat dia menjadi ‘the one that almost got away’. Jangan sampai, seseorang yang saat ini ada di samping kitalah yang menjadi ‘the one that got away’ karena kita terlalu terpaku pada kenangan masa lalu.

Hummh, entah kenapa tiba-tiba terpikir untuk memposting tulisan sepanjang dan seberat ini di blog ^^;. Mungkin karena menulis di blog merupakan salah satu cara untuk mengingatkan gw di masa depan, di saat gw udah punya anak cucu, bahwa gw punya ‘kotak-kotak’ yang berharga. “My preciousss…” kalau kata Gollum ^^

*hey, you, the future me I mean, when you read this, can you still remember which ‘boxes’ that was on my mind when I write this??*

  1. ha..I’ve read this one too a long time ago. dejavu. 🙂

  2. hummmh, kayaknya tempat bacanya juga sama deh, nebak ah… thepradonos.com bukan? ^^

  3. nice post :D. gue refer ya mit 😀

  4. waaaaaa..LIKE THIS POKOKNYA! :-bd

  5. nice post.. sering banget ngrasa gitu.. tapi ya gitu.. cuman sekedar buat kenangan aja ^^

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