Drives Me Crazy

Have you ever felt like that? Like you want to pull your hair out, or banging you head on the wall. Or.. felt like laughing and crying at the same time. Happened to me just now, and that was the worst feeling ever. I bet that’s what you call being crazy. And it gives me chills since I was this close to become insane ^^;

Because it was already past eleven at night, which means we’re not allowed to make any kind of noisy noises, I prefer to cry -silently- to my heart’s content instead of laughing. It’s kinda hard to LMFAO while suppressing the sound, isn’t it?

Anyway, after that ‘storm’ passes, surprisingly I felt… at peace. And peace really helps me thinking clearly. Though the problem is not solved yet, I managed to collect my thought, compose an email message, and send it to my supervisor.

This is really my first experience of feeling this way. I’ve found problems more challenging than this one during my previous job as software debugger, and even during my preparation for the exam of one course last semester, but never I felt did I feel as desperate as today. Maybe because the pressure is building up, and I find no joy in doing this.

Wait, no joy? At all? Maybe I should consider changing the topic. Or.. I should try harder to find something, something that I missed, that perhaps can help me enjoy the ride. Let’s wait for what my supervisor has to say then.

Nope, I’m not exaggerating, and this is definitely not my hormone talking. Because of the weather? Maybe. It keeps raining almost everyday here. April has never been my favorite month of the year. There’re even times when I avoid meeting people because I’m sure their first question will be…

“So, how’s your thesis going?”

Cazzo.

  1. *puk puk*…
    “Kalo orang lain aja bisa, kenapa Tata ngga bisa??”

    Nyanyi aja deh, aku ngga ada pengalaman pusing ginian soalnya, nanti subjektif ya jatohnya 😀
    “Badaiii pasti berlaluuu…”

  2. The answer was always: “in progress”… Hehehe…

    Oh ya satu lagi, “but never I felt as desperate as today” harusnya “but never did I feel as desperate as today”, hehehe…

    • ah iya betul, should be either ‘i never felt’ or ‘never did I feel’ ya ;p grammar nazi in action, hihi..

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